At The Retreat, we are big believers in the saying, “There is no such thing as a dumb question.”
When it comes to domestic abuse, a complex and personal topic, there is often a lot of confusion. But, the more we know, the better we can help those in need and ultimately break the cycle of family violence.
Read on to see some common questions and answers about this issue:
1. Why don’t they just leave?
There are many reasons why someone might stay in an abusive relationship:
Fear of their partner’s actions | Concern over their ability to live independently | Abuse was normal in their household and they don’t recognize that the behavior is abusive | Shame that they are in an abusive relationship, feeling like they did something wrong rather than their abuser | Lack of resources, they may be financially dependent on their abuser after not being allowed to work or have access to bank accounts | Guilt over taking children away from a parent.
2. Are all victims women and all perpetrators men?
No. One in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. [can’t find something that goes here because the page I was looking at was almost identical to the other!]
3. Does it count as abuse if it doesn’t include physical abuse?
Domestic abuse is not just physical. It can be emotional, sexual, technological, financial and spiritual.
4. Is abuse only common in romantic relationships?
No. Abuse can happen between relatives, such as parents and children or siblings, as well as in friendships and the workplace.
5. Does abuse discriminate?
No. Abuse can affect individuals of every age, gender, sexual orientation, income level, education level, race, ethnicity, and socio-economic background.
Gretta Monahan, lifestyle expert from “The View,” and producer Robin Hommel organized a day of pampering for the women at The Stephanie House shelter over Mother’s Day weekend. Monahan and the tv crew headed east for the day to treat the women and raise awareness about domestic violence. The segment aired on June 16th. Hair and makeup stylists from the show provided the women with makeovers. And with their pick of beautiful new clothes, bags and shoes, our residents were able to start rebuilding their wardrobes. After the head-to-toe styling, the women were treated to a specially-prepared meal at the shelter, courtesy of celebrity chef Katie Lee. We are immensely grateful to Gretta, Robin and “View” co-host Joy Behar for providing these women with a well-deserved day of pampering and for making them feel so special!
Printed in East Hampton Star June 8, 2023 The number-one spot on the 2022 Forbes annual top charities list went to Feeding America, a Chicago-based network that supplies more than 200 regional and local food banks in the United States.Ten other food-related charities appeared on the list, reflecting the pandemic’s impact on food insecurity in […]
We should all be outraged about intimate partner abuse, which is violence against women 90% of the time. It’s often an invisible and tolerated behavior that has to stop.
One in 4 women experience domestic violence in the United States, and nearly all of those cases include financial abuse. This is one of the primary reasons why victims are unable to leave an abusive partner or have to return to one.
What’s immediately clear in Markie Hancock’s documentary about the origins of the Retreat, East Hampton’s domestic violence shelter, is that the three domestic violence survivors she features do not need anyone to speak on their behalf. What they need is to be heard.
The Retreat is unique because it has a teen leadership council and teen advocates. Some of the volunteers share their stories of relationship violence and let others know there is help.
You know those candy hearts with the cute sayings? The Retreat’s Teen Leadership Council, a group of East End students that explores healthy relationships through educational activities, honest conversations, and advocacy projects, has come up with an all new version with empowering phrases.
One in 3 young people will be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship. During this Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, The Retreat’s Teen Leadership Council is working to bring that statistic as close to zero as possible.
The Retreat’s team of advocates assist survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault with understanding their legal rights regarding orders of protection, custody and visitation, child support, and other legal matters, and help them navigate the family court system.