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Understanding Our Community: A Call to Address Youth Dating Violence

At the heart of every community lies a web of relationships—connections that shape our experiences, our well-being, and our sense of safety. Yet, for some, these relationships can become fraught with challenges, leading to potentially unhealthy or abusive relationships. In the face of such issues, organizations like The Retreat seek to understand, educate, and provide […]

My Experience as a Social Worker

By Sarah Samson, , MPH, CHESProject Coordinator of Long Island Safer Bars My experience as a social worker in domestic violence began while working with families who were formerly unhoused. Most of my clients had experienced some form of domestic or sexual violence leading up to becoming unhoused. When the opportunity to work in preventing […]

Teaching Teens How to Ask for Help

By Christina, a Retreat Volunteer and College Student In light of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, the Retreat’s Teen Leadership Council (TLC) received training on how to ask for help when experiencing unhealthy or abusive behaviors in relationships. TLC learned to make a Resilience Plan consisting of three different groups of people–parents/other trusted adults, peers, […]

Teen Leader: Why TLC is Important

Teen Leadership Council group photo

By Christina, a Retreat Volunteer and College Student As a college senior, I am not exactly a high schooler, yet I attend the Teen Leadership Council (TLC) meetings as a volunteer and intermediary for the students. These meetings have impressed me in countless ways thus far. Primarily, the students are very well-versed in the signs […]

Common Questions About DV

At The Retreat, we are big believers in the saying, “There is no such thing as a dumb question.” 

When it comes to domestic abuse, a complex and personal topic, there is often a lot of confusion. But, the more we know, the better we can help those in need and ultimately break the cycle of family violence.

Read on to see some common questions and answers about this issue:

1. Why don’t they just leave?
There are many reasons why someone might stay in an abusive relationship:

Fear of their partner’s actions | Concern over their ability to live independently | Abuse was normal in their household and they don’t recognize that the behavior is abusive | Shame that they are in an abusive relationship, feeling like they did something wrong rather than their abuser | Lack of resources, they may be financially dependent on their abuser after not being allowed to work or have access to bank accounts | Guilt over taking children away from a parent. 

2. Are all victims women and all perpetrators men?

No. One in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.  [can’t find something that goes here because the page I was looking at was almost identical to the other!]

3. Does it count as abuse if it doesn’t include physical abuse?

Domestic abuse is not just physical. It can be emotional, sexual, technological, financial and spiritual. 

4. Is abuse only common in romantic relationships?

No. Abuse can happen between relatives, such as parents and children or siblings, as well as in friendships and the workplace.

5. Does abuse discriminate?

No. Abuse can affect individuals of every age, gender, sexual orientation, income level, education level, race, ethnicity, and socio-economic background.

The Retreat Presents at the Beau Biden National Conference

The Retreat’s Education Department presented at the Beau Biden National Conference to Protect America’s Youth on June 28th. The conference featured more than 60 speakers and experts on child welfare, abuse, the law, youth, and more, with the goal of providing advice and a plan for preventing and responding to child abuse in any community. […]

“The View” Treats Moms at The Stephanie House

Gretta Monahan, lifestyle expert from “The View,” and producer Robin Hommel organized a day of pampering for the women at The Stephanie House shelter over Mother’s Day weekend. Monahan and the tv crew headed east for the day to treat the women and raise awareness about domestic violence. The segment aired on June 16th. Hair and makeup stylists from the show provided the women with makeovers. And with their pick of beautiful new clothes, bags and shoes, our residents were able to start rebuilding their wardrobes. After the head-to-toe styling, the women were treated to a specially-prepared meal at the shelter, courtesy of celebrity chef Katie Lee. We are immensely grateful to Gretta, Robin and “View” co-host Joy Behar for providing these women with a well-deserved day of pampering and for making them feel so special!

Financial Wellness is Crucial for Survivors of Abuse

One in 4 women experience domestic violence in the United States, and nearly all of those cases include financial abuse. This is one of the primary reasons why victims are unable to leave an abusive partner or have to return to one.

Documentary Tells The Retreat’s Origin Story

What’s immediately clear in Markie Hancock’s documentary about the origins of the Retreat, East Hampton’s domestic violence shelter, is that the three domestic violence survivors she features do not need anyone to speak on their behalf. What they need is to be heard.

What Does Advocacy Look Like at The Retreat?

The Retreat’s team of advocates assist survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault with understanding their legal rights regarding orders of protection, custody and visitation, child support, and other legal matters, and help them navigate the family court system.

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