by Angela LaGreca | Spark Hamptons

The local nonprofit provides shelter, advocacy, and hope across Long Island—at a time when the need has never been greater.

In the quiet corners of eastern Long Island, a safe haven exists for families fleeing danger. The Retreat, an East End nonprofit, provides emergency shelter, counseling, and legal advocacy for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking.

These days, the need—and the challenges of budget cuts—have never been greater.

Founded 38 years ago by a group of local women and men across both political parties with a shared mission—to help women in need—the organization has grown into a critical lifeline for hundreds of families across Suffolk and Nassau counties—offering not just safety, but the tools to rebuild lives and reclaim hope.

Leading the Retreat is Cate Carbonaro, a former public defender whose career has been defined by a deep commitment to survivors. Her legal experience gives her a unique understanding of the systemic barriers victims face—and the tools to help them navigate them.

“I’ve spent my career supporting survivors while also working with those causing harm,” Carbonaro says. “I’ve seen how trauma can cycle through generations. The Retreat is about stopping that cycle—giving survivors safety, support, and the chance to rebuild their lives.”

How Did The Retreat Begin?

To hear Carbonaro speak about the Retreat’s beginnings and its mission, you would think she has worked there for decades, rather than just a little over a year. Her passion for The Retreat seems to run deep. The Retreat, she says, started with a remarkable act of community caring.

“Thirty-eight years ago, it was a small grassroots effort,” said Carbonaro. “A few Rotary Club members in East Hampton saw that women survivors of domestic violence at all income levels didn’t have anywhere to go. They’d take them into their basements or spare rooms—let kids stay with them. They figured it out. They raised money for the first shelter. It’s an incredible story—it seems like today that would be impossible with all the red tape.”

From those humble beginnings, the nonprofit expanded to include counseling, legal advocacy, and prevention education. Under Carbonaro’s leadership, the organization has also intensified support for human trafficking survivors, a growing but often hidden need that intersects with domestic violence, housing insecurity, and economic vulnerability.

What Is the Shelter Like?

The Retreat’s shelter is located in an undisclosed, secluded area out East. “It’s a beautiful place,” according to Carbonaro, with an outdoor playground, a large kitchen, a living room, a dining room, and communal spaces with lots of couches where parents and kids can sit, play, and feel safe.

Families (one parent and any children) have their own rooms and bathrooms. “I wish we had space so the singles could be by themselves, it’s awful to have to leave a bad person and have to share a room with someone who’s also traumatized. We want to help the most amount of people,” Carbonaro says.

Families typically stay 90 days, with the possibility of an extension. “Many families stay up to six months,” Carbonaro says. “It’s a place to lay low, heal, and plan a new life.”

How Does The Retreat Support Survivors Beyond Shelter?

Legal advocacy is central. Advocates guide survivors through police reports, protection orders, and court hearings.

“Court is scary, especially for someone fleeing abuse,” Carbonaro says. “Our advocates walk with them every step of the way.”

The Retreat also prioritizes prevention and education, working with schools, hospitals, police departments, and community groups. Programs teach consent, boundaries, and awareness of domestic violence and trafficking, starting in first grade and continuing through high school.

Programs extend beyond shelter walls. The Long Island Father Initiative helps fathers rebuild relationships and parenting skills. Financial empowerment programs help survivors rebuild credit, resumes, and independence.

“It’s my favorite thing that we do because it’s so different than what anyone thinks that we would do,” says Carbonaro. “We’ve had The Long Island Father Initiative for about 15 years, it’s been really quiet, it is dedicated to helping fathers. It’s completely free, it’s not court mandated, fathers enroll on their own and we have classes, courses help them get jobs, resumes, getting suits. We help their kids.”

How Is The Retreat Meeting Rising Needs Across Long Island?

With shelters closing in Nassau County, the Retreat has expanded to meet rising demand. Last year, the nonprofit served over 500 clients, many of them children.

The organization also addresses emerging threats, including tech-facilitated abuse like sextortion and online exploitation, educating youth and families about digital safety.

“The need has never been higher,” Carbonaro adds. “With shelters closing and funding uncertain, every resource, every advocate, every donor counts more than ever.”

How Was Your First Year on the Job?

“It was a really tumultuous year for all non profits—we started last year, the 3rd week of January with all federal grants cut for a day at the beginning of the year—frozen by a court, that started the trajectory of a year gaining and losing funding for a lot of non profits that made it very uncertain. Coming back after holiday break and a lot of transition I was happy to be here—the staff, the clients, the people who donate, our Board, they really care about us,” Carbonaro says.

How Can People Help Support The Retreat?

Community support keeps the Retreat running and ensures all services remain free. Volunteers, donors, and local partnerships make a real difference.

“We are always looking for volunteers to help in our shelter organizing that big closet of clothes for clients. The hotline isn’t for everyone but there are people who are good under trial. Coming to our events in summer, spreading the word, training more police officers and firefighters so people understand we are here and a resource,” Carbonaro says.

The boutique in Bridgehampton Commons, staffed by volunteers and stocked with donated clothing, directly benefits clients.

What Do You Want People to Know About The Retreat?

“This work isn’t political—it’s about helping people in crisis,” Carbonaro emphasizes.

“We want people to know we are here not just for domestic violence but we work with kids. We have counselors who work with kids who are 4 years old who have witnessed violence.”

“What’s great about the Retreat and why I’m lucky to be here is that we’ve been doing this for 38 years, we’ve been doing a really good job and we keep growing and we keep helping more people.

“You know when you put money into The Retreat, we’re actually going to use that to figure out how we can help these survivors … these issues are complicated but the more education we can do in the community about the fact that this exists at all, the better. The needs are so high.”

“There are very few options for people but they exist and we are one of them.”

For more information about The Retreat, to donate/volunteer, visit: allagainstabuse.org

The Retreat’s 24 Hotline is 631-329-2200.