Michelle Trauring | Press News Group

 Feb 17, 2026
 

On a recent Wednesday afternoon, 70 percent of attendees of a Zoom lecture hosted by The Retreat said they were concerned. About 15 percent were curious. Another 15 percent said they were trying to keep up. Eleven percent felt overwhelmed.

Statistically speaking, they had every reason to be — especially when considering the digital landscape that some of their teens are navigating.

February shines a light on Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, a nationwide effort to raise awareness about teen dating abuse and promote healthy, respectful relationships among young people. One in three teens experience some kind of abuse in their romantic relationships, and 40 percent of teens and young adults age 14 to 24 have experienced technological dating abuse.

And most of them will confide in their friends before telling an adult.

But this group of attendees came away from the talk, “Growing Up Online: Supporting Teens in a Social Media + AI World,” armed with information that aims to help the young adults in their lives and hopefully prevent digital abuse.

“There’s a lot to keep up with. Things are changing at a rapid pace,” Courtney Hyland, associate director of prevention education, said during the talk. “So if you are feeling concerned right now, I hope that today’s webinar doesn’t add to the concerns, but you feel empowered with more knowledge and you’re able to more confidently address some of the issues that maybe you’re feeling concerned about.”

For teens today, they have never known a world where technology was not at their fingertips, Hyland said. When comparing the attendees’ long-gone digital landscape to what teens have now, words like “access,” “overwhelming,” “rustic,” “Stone Age,” “ease,” and “scary” came up.

And that’s understandable. From 1995 to 2002, there was often a family computer in a shared space with dial-up internet, basic email and limited online interaction. It took nearly a decade for social networking to begin. Between 2003 to 2007 came the introduction of MySpace, early Facebook and instant messaging. Teens began forming online identities, but access still was mostly limited to desktop computers at home.

From 2008 to 2012, smartphones became mainstream. Texting replaced phone calls, and photos, apps and social media moved from shared spaces to personal devices carried everywhere.

“It increased very rapidly from there, if you look at the chunks of time,” Hyland said.

This led into 2013 to 2017, when Snapchat, Instagram, group chats and location sharing expanded. Communication became constant, private and immediate, often without adult visibility.

TikTok and algorithm-driven feeds began to dominate attention starting in 2018. Online content increasingly shapes identity, self-worth, body image and social norms. This led to 2022 to 2024, which saw increases in sextortion, grooming through direct messaging and gaming chats, encrypted messages, and manipulated images.

Present day, AI has exploded and chatbots are a part of everyday life. Technology is now simulating emotional connection, raising new concerns about development, boundaries and healthy relationships.

“One thing that we are highly aware of and concerned about is digital abuse,” Hyland said, adding that one in 10 teens in relationships have experienced some type of digital abuse. “We know this is happening. We know digital abuse is happening, so we don’t want it to snowball into other violent, unhealthy or abusive behaviors. We really want to try to minimize that risk.”

The definition of digital abuse refers to technology that can control, manipulate or harm another person. “For teenagers, digital abuse can be especially damaging,” she said. “Their entire social lives and identities are so closely tied to these online interactions.”

The top three apps used by teens, according to the attendees polled, were TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram — 82 percent, 79 percent and 75 percent, respectively. Facebook was the lowest at 18 percent.

Hyland advised parents to make sure all accounts are private for their children and to review the settings, such as disabling the download of videos.

In the world of gaming and gaming apps, only 24 percent of users are under age 18, while a combined 61 percent are between ages 18 and 54, Hyland said. That could be fertile ground for online abuse, she said.

“If our children are getting random messages claiming to be peers, which they often do — they don’t say, ‘I’m a 45-year-old person.’ They might pretend to be a peer,” she said. “They’re likely not. Statistics show that they are likely not in their age group. They don’t know who they are, and we really want to be aware of the type of adults that are engaging children in conversations on these gaming apps.”

The digital challenges that teens face also include the pressure to share their location, passwords or explicit photos, feeling a constant sense of connection and a lack of digital boundaries, and the potential introduction of AI relationships.

“Teens want to be talking about it. They are aware, even if they’re participating in some of the behaviors that we find to be problematic,” Hyland said. “They’re aware of it, and they’re willing to be open and have these conversations about what digital boundaries are, some of the problematic behaviors that are happening online. So it’s our job and our role as parents, caregivers, youth-serving adults to allow those conversations to flourish and to provide them with the opportunities to talk about these things in a safe way.”

Some of the ways that adults can support teens online are by keeping conversations open, curious and ongoing, with clear expectations surrounding online use paired with flexibility. Problem-solving is more effective than punishment, and adults can help teens practice uncomfortable situations so they’re better prepared. Focus on behaviors and boundaries, not just apps and screens.

“Thank you for this,” one attendee wrote in the Zoom chat. “It’s extremely important for us all to connect respectfully with our kids, learn to listen hard and trust them so they can come back to a safe place, no judgment, serene and lovingly.”