{"id":6731,"date":"2023-02-15T14:57:49","date_gmt":"2023-02-15T19:57:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/allagainstabuse.org\/?p=6731"},"modified":"2025-11-07T10:17:40","modified_gmt":"2025-11-07T15:17:40","slug":"helping-teens-set-healthy-relationship-boundaries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allagainstabuse.org\/es\/helping-teens-set-healthy-relationship-boundaries\/","title":{"rendered":"El retiro: C\u00f3mo ayudar a los adolescentes a establecer l\u00edmites sanos en sus relaciones"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Originally published by Dan’s Papers<\/a>, posted on February 14, 2023. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Written by Nicole Formisano.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One in 3 young people will be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship. During this Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month<\/a>, The Retreat<\/a>\u2019s Teen Leadership Council<\/a> is working to bring that statistic as close to zero as possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Retreat is an East Hampton-based nonprofit that provides resources \u2014 including shelter, legal services, counseling, a 24-hour hotline, and more \u2014 to survivors of domestic abuse. Their Teen Leadership Council (TLC) comprises a group of high school students focused on preventative education. They\u2019re dedicated to providing their peers the knowledge and resources to identify unhealthy relationship patterns, and empowering them to have healthier connections with their partners, friends, and loved ones. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAll of us have messy relationships,\u201d says Prevention Education Program Director Helen Atkinson-Barnes<\/a>. \u201cWe can all do better in terms of learning to connect, to take responsibility, to build that relationship with ourselves.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Juliette Kearns, Lauren Amarouso, Kimberly Mendez, and Aela Bailey at East End Partnership For Youth Conference December 2023<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The Teen Leadership Council helps its members connect with themselves and others by practicing relationship essentials in a safe space. Through activities like practice dialogues, members learn skills such as establishing healthy boundaries. When people are able to practice setting boundaries in a comfortable environment, they eventually feel more confident doing so in their day-to-day lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne of the most important lessons I learned was how to say no,\u201d says Aela Bailey, 18. \u201cI struggled with this a lot when I was younger, both in friendships and relationships, and I feel like TLC helped to give me a voice.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

TLC applies the same concept to identifying red flags in relationships. The members have continuous dialogues about what are healthy and unhealthy behaviors in relationships. Common themes that surface include high levels of jealousy, controlling behavior, manipulation, and a lack of privacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBeing in TLC helps you to put a name to the face, meaning you\u2019re not questioning, \u2018Oh, is this what\u2019s supposed to be happening?\u2019\u201d explains Bailey. \u201cNow it\u2019s more like, \u2018I know exactly what this is,\u2019 and I can identify it in my relationship and work on it, and make it stronger.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part of what makes the Teen Leadership Council<\/a> so effective is that it\u2019s built by a community of high school students. They have insight to the problems and relationship dynamics that are specific to this generation, so can come to peers from a place of support and respect rather than the unintended condescension of some well-meaning adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne of the [lessons] that really sticks out to me is how we go about supporting people that are experiencing dating violence,\u201d shares TLC member Kimberly Mendez, 17. \u201cYou don\u2019t want to come off as judgemental or aggressive. You want to be a support system.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She further explains that one of the biggest problems this generation faces is a lack of healthy coping mechanisms to deal with unhealthy relationships. This is especially challenging considering the new ways in which dating violence manifests in the modern age. New red flags are becoming more and more common: insisting on shared social media passwords, stalking someone\u2019s online location, and disregard for their phone privacy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c[Dating violence today] is not always the same as what we experienced,\u201d says Director Atkinson-Barnes. \u201cSo much of relationships are online these days, whether it\u2019s through dating apps or social media. That whole world is constantly evolving. So teens are their own best experts on these issues.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Juliette Kearns, 18, explains that a huge factor for modern dating violence is how relationships are portrayed on our screens. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s perpetuated so much by the media,\u201d she says. \u201cIn TV and movies we see so many red flags and dangerous signs that are normalized. And people don\u2019t know any better because it\u2019s excused, and put into this different light.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She shares that one of TLC\u2019s biggest mantras is that love is learned. That\u2019s why it\u2019s so powerful that the members of TLC use what they learn to treat not only their partners, but everyone, with compassion and respect. In the words of Courtney Hyland, The Retreat\u2019s Prevention Education and Distance Learning Specialist, they \u201cmodel the behavior they hope to see in others.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRelationship violence or unhealthy behavior comes up in everyone\u2019s life in some way shape or form,\u201d says Kearns. \u201cSo to do what you can to educate yourself and spread as much information as you can is really important.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

By educating in a way that is preventative rather than reactive, the Teen Leadership Council empowers everyone to have healthier relationships with their significant others, their friends, and themselves. This February, we can all learn how to be more mindful in our relationships by taking a cue from TLC\u2019s methods and resources. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a hotline, educational resources, or to learn more about TLC, visit The Retreat\u2019s website, allagainstabuse.org<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Uno de cada 3 j\u00f3venes estar\u00e1 en una relaci\u00f3n abusiva o insana. Durante este Mes de Concienciaci\u00f3n sobre la Violencia en el Noviazgo Adolescente, el Consejo de Liderazgo Adolescente de The Retreat est\u00e1 trabajando para que esa estad\u00edstica se acerque lo m\u00e1s posible a cero.\u00a0<\/p>","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":6732,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[97],"tags":[67,35,36,337,43,44,72,187,45,46,53],"class_list":["post-6731","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-all-against-abuse","tag-domestic-abuse","tag-domestic-violence","tag-hampton-bays","tag-healthy-relationships","tag-relationship-abuse","tag-sexual-assault","tag-supportive-counseling","tag-tdvam","tag-teen-dating-violence-awareness-month","tag-unhealthy-relationships"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Retreat: Helping Teens Set Healthy Relationship Boundaries - The Retreat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/allagainstabuse.org\/es\/helping-teens-set-healthy-relationship-boundaries\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_MX\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Retreat: Helping Teens Set Healthy Relationship Boundaries - The Retreat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One in 3\u00a0young people will be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship. 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